Memories...........

Pain comes and goes and memories fade. Short term things fly out of my head faster than I can grasp them. Pink and yellow sticky notes sit close. near and everywhere in my world. So many things to do and so many of them forgotten. I'm afraid someday I'll start to forget things I never want to forget. The good stuff is what I never want to part with. Like the sound of my niece Or nephews baby laughter, how much I love certain things and why, simple things that bring back distant memories from childhood. Why I love fresh cut grass and cold beverages on a hot day, the feeling of a good spanking when I deserved it, and the things me and my friends giggled about back in the day. There are things that have happened in my life that I'd be happy to let go but even with the bad stuff have come some good in remembering them. I never want to forget heartache because it has made me exactly who I am today. Love......... I never want to forget love. Those I love, why I love them and the true depth of that love. The way each and every one of these people fit so intricately into my heart. Some have been placed there through fate, others have worked to get there. Tearing down walls others have helped to build and winning a place I didn't know existed in my heart...... always starting with a smile and ending in forever love. Anything that makes me smile...... Brief moments held so precious in my mind. I could never prepare myself to set these memories free. Good Or Bad. I live my life through these memories. Fragments of my life. Tears I've shed, laughter I've spread, deep thoughts that still puzzle me, Little things that mean so much to me. Things that send shivers up my spine with just a thought, a word, a smell Or a sound. The gift of remembering those people who have come into my life and tragically taken from this world. The only way I am able to hold these people and things with me are in my memories. These are what I fight hardest for each and every day. Memories of those I've lost, parts of my own life that I have already lost like the ability to do things I once held as a passion in my life and the way I thrived when I did them. And of course the happiness it all created for me at one time Or another. Things I am determined to never let happen slowly fading and becoming a reality. But I am determined to never forget........ Never become a blank slate because without my memories I would be nothing.