{Poem}~~ Where are you now!? (1)

ahem, and now a poem I wrote for one of my classes......that I'm debating turning in. I can't decide. I mean it's obviously super personal, but I'm posting it on here. but 'Blogger and facebook' are definitely different than a critique. I dunno. It's long. And meant to be read aloud. So if you choose to read it..... Keep those things in mind...... But you don't have to read it. It doesn't even have a title. Lame. You have a candle burning in your throat. I can see the soft glimmer when you whisper, I see it flicker on the enamel of your teeth when you smile. I smell the smoke when you breathe at night. I am enamored by that light. I've never seen anyone else's so clearly. I've never been drawn to brightness. But you have a different kind of brightness. One overtaken by a veil of shadow. The contrast is striking, The way it bends and moves with you do. You wear it like skin, A clinging aura of depth that you were raised in. I met you, You with the tiny fire in your sternum, The rest was dark, So you stood on your head all night coughing, Until the candle slid up into your throat. "I'm not all darkness". You said. And the candle stayed there, I wonder how you speak, and breathe, Wax coating your trachea and clinging, Dripping down the walls of your lungs. Some might find it odd, Me picturing your insides, The gears that grind in your chest, But it's because I want to know them, How they turn and twist each other, Each wrong notch making it's opposite right. Without each other, There would be nothing but stagnancy-- And this is my stagnancy, A constant, shifting pressure that Keeps me in one place. An easy laugh aggravates, Piercing the beast Awake, alive, Angry. Begging to be silenced. And so I move up and down, Shifty feet: That's me, A silhouette in front of glowing ice, Swaying back and forth to the pulsing beat of indecision. Yes, No, Stay, Go, Do it. I'm not crazed just craving (we all have a craving) The longer it sits the worse it gets Growing, growling, greedy in my head, Completely detached from body Oh! Beautiful body, I'm destroying you, Detonating heart beat in chest. Heaving in these words, Written in my head so loud. Written to be heard. Maybe this is the first scratch, The tear, the gash, That will remove the patch of skin. .............to be continued