Sad.....

So I'm a very emotional person, I can't help it, I love my sister so much. Like I don't know if people realize it. She's like my own baby. So today she started cryign like really loud and bad. So I ran upstairs cause I aws like uh oh, and sheldon was watching her but sometimes he just lets her cry so that she's not spoiled. but I always just hold her anyways. So I go upstairs and she's like screaming crying and it's because she hit her head on the wall as sheldon was walking, and I wanted to hold her cause you know how like when a baby cries you cuddle/cradle them? Well sheldon was just like hodling her and then she was like screaming and choking on her saliva and my heart ust hurt so bad cause I wanted to do something, but everytime I try to say something I'm like "undermining" sheldon's parenting. So then as she's still crying he's like undressing her to go into the sohwer and she's still like bawling and he sticks her in there she almost quiets down, but she's still crying, then she keeps looking at me and she keeps crying and I'm like on the verge of tears because I want to hold her so bad and like rock her around so she'll be comforted. then I walk in again and he's like spraying water on her head as she's still crying and I'm like so bad, so I go downstairs and tears just start pouring out cause I'm so helpless. It's like someone's torturing my child and I can't do anything!

You never think the last time is the last time.....{7}

Look. It's like this. Most people, when they get to college, feel really insecure. It seems like everybody around them knows so much more. So they race to try to catch up. pretend to know things, Because they don't realize that the discomfort of uncertainty is the most precious part of the experience. See, if you can feel comfortable........not knowing, you can learn anything, anything. And if not, well, then you've stopped before you've begun. Every time I'm supposed to come see him I trick myself into thinking that it's gonna be different this time. But it never is. It's always just differnet shades of the same. I like him. I'm not crazy about him yet, I'll be ready to say good-bye. later, but I like him. And that's enough for me be avoided. Life happens to us......the only certainty in all of it is that it just keeps happening. When you develop an infatuation with someone, you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older, we just had to forgive ourselves for growing up. No one really knows what you feel and fiction is the only way you're dealing; you turn your pretty head if it gets real. But some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint like a heart beat. And pure love, why some days it's so quiet. You don't even know it's there. When you love someone that much and that person is away from you, sometimes it literally feels like you can't breathe, as if your body is aching for air. And then that person walks into the room, and all that ache inside of you, all that longing, dissolves and you feel yourself breathe again. But it's as if he takes the some breath with you. You're both one. "She belonged to me", Chris said simply, "She was, you know, all the things I wasn't. And I was all the things she wasn't. She could paint circles around anyone; I can't even draw a straight line. She was never into sports; I've always been". Chris lifted his outstretched palm and curled his fingers. "Her hand", he said. "It fit mine". Angel: I watched you. I saw you called. it was a bright afternoon out in front of your school, you walked down the steps and I loved you. Buffy: Why? Angel: because I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see and I worried that it would be bruised or torn. more than anything in my life, I wanted to keep it safe. to warm it with my own. Sometimes we'll be piled on the couch wearing sweats, eating the kind of ice-cream we like, watching our favorite TV show, talking in the shorthand way we talk that nobody understands, and I'll realize that this every day, simple, no-big-deal moment this is my happiness. Shakespears wrote: 'Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds'. When life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same. They give their hearts to each other unconditionally.......that's what true love really is. It's not this fairy tale life that never knows pain, but it's two souls facing it together and diminishing it with unconditional love. I love him for his intelligence, his sensitivity. his courage. I love him wholly and unconditionally without reservation. I love him enough to like risks. I love him enough to sacrifice a friendship. I love him enough to accept my own happiness and use it, in turn, to make him happy back. Those little gestures were so important. someone pouring you a drink before you'd got around to saking for one, running you a bath because you looked tired, or opening your umbrella before you even thought of doing it yourself.

You never think the last time is the last time.....{6}

Through anything, through cancer. You wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand and not leaving because the doctors could see in your eyes that the term "visiting hours" didn't apply to you. And you wouldn't know about real loss, because that only occurs when you lose something you love more than yourself, and you've never dared to love anything that much. I look at you and I don't see an intelligent confident man, I don't see a peer, and I don't see my equal. I see a man. Nobody could possibly unterstand you, right will? Yet you presume to know so much about me because of a painting you saw. You must know everything about me. You're an orphon, right? Do you think I would presume to know the first thing about who you are because I read "Oliver Twist"? And I don't buy the argument that you don't want to be here, because I think you like all the attention you're getting. Personally, I don't care. There's nothing you can tell me that I can't read somewhere else. Unless we talk about your life. But you won't do that. Maybe you're afraid of what you might say-good will hunting. You are everything I never knew I always wanted. Look, sometimes bad things happen, and there is nothing you can do about it, so why worry? Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And so we ask ourselves will our actions echo across centuries? Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved? I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special. There are some fish that can't be caught. It's not that they're bigger or faster then the other fish, they're just touched by something extra. If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there. The best way to waste your life, .........is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch. Look for the details. Report. Don't participate. The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. because it's only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. stone crumbles. wood rots. people, well, they die. but things as fragile as a though, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. Courage is he discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose. The Invitation~~ It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.~~ It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.~~ It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!!!! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.~~ I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without coutioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.~~ It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.~~ I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty. every day, and if you can source your own life from it's presence.~~ I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"~~ It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.~~ It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.~~ It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside, when all else falls away.~~ I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. You gotta fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. because you are. and the pain you feel: it's life. the confusion and the fear that's there to remind you that, somewhere out there, there's something better. and that something is worth fighting for. ...............TO BE CONTINUED

You never think the last time is the last time....{5}

If you want big rewards. you got to take big risks. Look at me. My life has no meaning or direction, and I'm happy. She couldn't even make a sound. But tears started falling from her eyes. I've learned that fate only takes you so far. After that, it's up to you to make it happen. Even the smallest person can change the course of the future. So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned. My conclusion, right? Well, my conclusion is: hate is baggage, Life too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it. Ken says it's always good to end a paper wit ha quote. Says someone else has already said it best so if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong. So I picked a guy I thought you'd like. "We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic cords of memory will swell when again touched, as they surely will be, by the better angels of our nature". My father once said"nobility isn't a birth right, it's defined by one's actions". Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of your life. There are to many ordinary things in life, love shouldn't be one of them. To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human. Without the bitter, baby, the sweet ain't as sweet! It's like you come onto this planet with a crayon box. Now, you may get the 8-pak, or you may get the 16-pak, but it's all in what you do with the crayons--the colors--that you're given. Now don't worry about coloring inside the lines or outside the lines. I say, color outside the lines! Color right off the page! Don't box me in. The best thing about her is when you look in her eyes, and she's looking back in yours, everything seems not quite normal, because you feel stranger and weaker at the same time. You feel excited and at the same time terrified. The truth is you don't know what you feel, except you know what kind man you want to be. It's as if you've reached the unreachable and you're not ready for it. This is the only way you can hope to survive because life is not a movie. Everyone lies, good guys lose, and love does not conquer all. I do not chase my dreams, they come to me. I do not gamble with fate, I hold it. I can resist almost anything but temptation. Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you will be. The innocent only exist until they inevitably become perpatrators. Guilt and innocence is a matter of timing. There was this entire life behind things. and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know that there was no reason to be afraid.....ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know, but it helps me remember, I need to remember......sometimes there's so much to cave in. You are what you love, not what loves you. If the problem can't be solved, worrying is unnessecary. So if I asked you about art you could give me the skinny on every art book ever written....'Michelangelo'? You know a lot about him. I bet. Life's work, criticisms, political aspirations. But you couldn't tell me what it smells like in the 'Sistine Chapel'. You've never stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. And if I asked you about women I'm sure you could give me a syllabus of your personal favorites, and maybe you've been laid a few times too. But you couldn't tell me how it feels to wake up next to a woman and be truly happy. If I asked you about war you could refer me to a bevy of fictional and non--fictional material, but you've never been in one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap. And if I asked about love I'd get a sonnet, but you've never looked at a woman and been truly vulnerable. Known that someone could kill you with a look. That someone could rescue you from grief. That God had put on angel on Earth just for you. And you wouldn't know how it felt to be her angel. To have the love be there for her forever. . ...................TO BE CONTINUED

You never think the last time is the last time.....{4}

You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not how much money is your wallet. You are not your khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. Me? I'm scared of everything I'm scared of what I saw. I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you. It's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst, and then I remember to relax and stop trying to hold on to it and it flows through me like rain and I can feel nothing but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid, little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure, but don't worry. You will someday. In this life, there are nothing but possibilities. It's sad to fall asleep. It separates people. Even when you're sleeping together, you're all alone. See, most people never have to face the fact that at the right time and the right place they are capable of anything. Because we don't know when we'll die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well, yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five more, perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless--tuesdays with morrie. If you think back and replay your year and it doesn't bring you tears out of joy or sadness, consider the year wasted........ You are what you choose to be. Everybody is the same color when you turn the lights out. Every day we choose who we are by how we define ourselves. Destiny is something we've invented because we can't stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental. Things change. They always do. it's one of the things of nature. Most people are afraid of change, but if you look at it as something you can always count on, then it can be a comfort. I say let me never be complete. I say let me never be content. I say deliver me from Swedish-furniture. I say deliver me from clever art. I say deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth. I say you have to give up. I say evolve and let the chips fall where they may. So now I know what I have to do. I have to keep breathing. And tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide will bring in. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything either as a blessing or a curse. Bad times wake us up to the good times we weren't paying attention to.... When you love someone you say it--right then, out loud--otherwise the moment just passes you by. When you got nothing. You got nothing to lose. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all. Deep down I'm just a little woman playing dress up, angry at my magic wand for not working. Sometimes we have to risk the dark to see the light. There was nothing good. There was no way to make it okay in my head. I didn't have any experience with this sort of thing. Everything wasn't, actually, going to be okay. In life, anything is possible. Nothing ever is what it may seem. Expect the unexpected. Obviously things hadn't been going well, but we still hoped. We were going to hope until someone told us we couldn't. And then we hoped anyway. Better days had to lie ahead. ..............TO BE CONTINUED

You never think the last time is the last time.....{3}

General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particulary dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there--fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husband and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge--they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around--Life is pain. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something. I was never more certain of how far away I was from my goal than when I was standing right beside it. There's always some war, somewhere, with someone. And there are no winners or losers either.......just those who are still around to fight another day. I think that the most important thing in life is to have someone to love. If you can't give them that, at least give them something to do. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Some of us pursue perfection and virtue and if we're lucky we catch up to it, but happiness cannot be pursued. It either comes to you or it don't. You can always say if only this or if only that, but IF ONLY is a state of mind that we get into when we feel deprived. Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around. The things you own amd up owning you. It's only after you lose everything that you are free to do anything. At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad and what may seem to be a series of unfortunate events may, in fact, be the very first steps of a journey. So in the end, was it worth it? Jesus Christ. How irreparably changed my life has become. It's always the last days of summer and I've been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I'll grant you I've had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by when they're busy making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime I've left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there's almost barely enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition for exceeded my talent. There are no more smart or funny guys at my door. It is not worth winning if you don't have a fight for it. Life is a random lottery of meaningless tragedies and a series of near escapes. Hate is baggage, life's too short to be pissed off all the time, it's just not worth it. .........................TO BE CONTINUED

大頭狗~~Samsam

You never think last time is the last time....{2}

Here are two cheap tickets for two hopeless lovers who danced their dreams away. You can't keep dwelling on every moment that slipped by. with every sunset comes a sunrise and we don't know or care where we go. just turn up that radio, sing along to all out favorite songs and hope those these interstates go on and on and on. She said "I don't if I've ever been good enough. I'm a little bit rusty. and I think my head is caving in. and I don't know if I've ever really been loved". Lets driver into the sunset, sing love songs. We'll make unkeepable promises & swear we'll never love anyone else. Most people don't know who they are, that's why they lie. They're afraid someone else will figure it out, before they do. She wanted something more......perhaps to be more than second best. You were never a waste of time. You were just the harsh realization that I could do better. Life is about chasing after the things you truly think are worth it, even if they don't want happen. I'd rather have nothing than knowing I settled for something I didn't want with all my heart. Everybody's got a story about how they losttheir one and only. People aren't afraid of saying "I love you", they're afraid of hearing the response. You know how it is when you don'y want to miss them, but you want them to miss you. No smile is more beautiful than one that's struggles through tears. At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that it's happy right now. See once in a while. once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. and once in a while people may even take your breath away. "And, although we adore men individually we agree that as a group they're rather stupid". Sometimes I can't believe my eyes. I want to stare up and get lost in the city light. Because I've had enough and this is the end. And now I unterstand, that a heart breaks it does not bend. and I've been dying to know who's your heart beating for? It's hard to grow up in a world where you'll never be the pretty girl, everyone else seems to have everything you've ever wanted, and your dreams always end up one cloud away. Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak, it just means that you are strong enough to let go. A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. A man cannot be comfortablr without his own approval. A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stared than to anything on which it is poured. Courage is resistance to fear , mastery of fear, not absencs of fear. Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. If you start out depressed, everything's kind of a pleasant surprise. A beautiful girl can you make you dizzy.....like you've been drinking Jack and Coke all morning. She can make you feel high-Full of the single greatest commodity known to man-Promise. Promise of a better day. Promise of a great hope. Promise of a new tomorrow. This particular aura, can be found in the gate of a beautiful girl......in her smile.......in her soul........and in the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's going to be okay. You know what's wrong with you...... You're chicken. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact". People Do fall in love. People do belong to each other. Because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness. You call yourself a free spirit, a wild thing, yet you're terrified that somebody's gonna put you in a cage. Well, baby, you're already in a cage and you built it yourself. And it's not bound on the east by 'Asia' or on the west bu'French, America......., It's everywhere you go. Because no matter where you run, you're always going to end up running into yourself. We're the middle children of history.......no purpose or place. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our great war is a piritual war. Our great depreesion is our lives. He had mastered the fatal technique of believing his own lies. Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world. ..............TO BE CONTINUED

You never think the last time is the last time...{1}

You never think the last time is the last time. You never think there won't be more. You think you will have forever, but you don't. If you want to know where you heart is look where your mind goes when it wanders. We're just afraid period. Our fear is free floating. We're afraid this isn't the right relationship or we're afraid they won't like us or afraid they will. We're afraid of failures or we're afraid of success. We're afraid of dying young or we're afraid of growing old. We're more afraid of life than we are death. Everyone is taught to look both ways before crossing the street and to talk quietly in the library but no one ever learns anything that matters, like how to keep breathing when your heart breaks in half. The most important thing in life is to find yourself, know who you are at all times, and stand by that far the rest of your life. and just for once I want someone to be afraid to lose me. Keep your head up Your colors are beautiful When they say give up Just turn up your radio. "The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that every day won't be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair, remember, it's only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars lead you back home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, because most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you? The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination". So, this is when we finally learn the real meaning of change. You do the things you used to be against, you date the people you thought you never would, and you befriend the people you used to hate. You'll learn what it's like to have your heart broken, to lose a friend that truly meant something to you, and to feel as if everything is really falling apart. There will be times that your life seems so absolutly horrible it feels like it's not real. Despite all this, good things will come too. You'll make the most amazing friends that will be there for you even when they probably shouldn't. Your broken heart will heal once you find the most amazing friends that will be there for you even when they probably shoundn't. Your borken heart will heal once you find the most perfect guy you've ever met, and just as nothing else can go wrong, things will only get better. There will be the days you are so happy. and the days you feel like ... like dying. Drama happens, gossip goes around, and people talk shit. Maybe this is just high school, maybe it's life, or maybe this is just what growing up is. When you're down I may not always be able to pick you up but I promise I'll always be willing to lay right next to you. And the way you make me smile could outdue a million beautiful sunsets. There's nothing scarier than getting what you want.........because that's when you really have something to lose. ......................TO BE CONTINUED