Why....?

Why is life so... Why are people always changing. and if you don't change with the people that mean the most to you. Things aren't going to be same. You can't get that time back. How do you know who you are if your always changing. How do you know your going out with the right person for you. And all the ups and downs. Urgh... You can always tell how much you love someone by how much they can "hurt" you. at the end of the day. you can either "focus" on what is "tearing" you apart or what's "holding" you together. I think the "hardest" part about this "situation" is "neither" of us "know" what's going on. "neither" of us knows what the other is "thinking" & we're "both trying" to make "decisions" based on the "information" we don't "know". Always seem to be on the run, We haven't spoken in so long. We can't get past the how are you. We're not talking like we used to. One of the "hardest" moments in life is deciding whether you should "give up" or "try harder". I "believe" that we are who we "choose" to be. "Nobody" is going to come & "save" you, you've got to "save" yourself. "Nobody's" going to give you "anything". you've got to go out & "fight" for it. "Nobody" knows what you "want" except for "you" & "Nobody" will be as "sorry" as you if you "don't" get it. so don't give up on your dreams. Life is about "trusting" your "feelings" & taking "chances", "losing" & "finding happiness". Appreciating the "memories" & "learning" from the "pain" & "realizing" that "people" always "change". Although you may not "love" me, although you may not "care". if you shall ever "need" me, you know that "I'll be there". you "love" may all be "taken", your "heart" may not be "free". but when your "heart" is "broken", you can "always" lean on me. I'll never stop "loving" you, I "know" because I tried. all the oceans in the "world", can't hold the "tears" I've cried. Sometimes you have to "test" someone, "not" because you don't "trust" them, but to "see" how much they will "sacrifice" for you & "sometimes" you have to let them "go". "Not" because you "suddenly" stopped "loving" them, but to "see" if they "love" you enough "to come back". You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened could've, would've happened......or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on. My heart keeps telling me "hold your ground, you'll never learn a thing if you bail out now". Take out the photo albums, set aside the tissue box. today, she's not afraid to look back on her mistakes; today, she realized just how strong she is. We're in this age, when people do things and it hurts everyone around them. We're in this age when people aren't secure with themselves. I'm tired of being afraid to live my life. As we grow older, it becomes difficult to just believe. it's not that we don't want to, but too much has happened and we can't. I can't say how I feel. Life changes, you get it all lined up just the way you like it & then something beyond your control comes along & bumps you off center. How nice it would be if you could get everything just the way you want it & say, "Okay, now, stay", But nothing stays the same. You grow up, make friends, lose friends, go to college, lose track of people, meet new ones, & sometimes you ask yourself why. But all I can tell you is the every single experience you go through like this changed you in some way. Every new person who comes into your life changes you Every moral dilemma or emotional experience you come up against changes you. It's your job, you decide how. That's how character is developed. I still miss you, sometimes. And that's okay. I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now, through YOUR eyes. P.S... Kung Hei Fai choy