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I've been having a pretty..... {2}
And that's when I realized that sadness and pain really is inevitable--it will be present at every moment of your life. It just depends on how much importance you decide to give it. On how much you decide to let it overtake your life and rule the person who you are. Maybe I have changed since middle school, even though it's only been two years. Maybe I was right in thinking that I've become a bit more cynical and jaded. Maybe I was right in thinking that I've lost a little bit of faith. But, no matter what I think, underneath my past experiences and the people I once knew and loved.....and lost......underneath all those things that follow me wherever I go--all that pain I carry with me--I will still ALWAYS be me. Sometimes, I guess, it's just eacy to lose yourself in the the clutter and the accumulation of sadness and experience and wisdom. What made me really realize that was when I looked up from finding "Those You've Known" from Sring Awakening on my iPod just in time to see Tim fly past me with his dog. I was shocked and in wonder that the two of us, who haven't seen each other since my Sophomore year of middle school, just happened to walk past each other at the same exact moment in time, on the same exact street, on the same exact of the sidewalk. What are the chances of that? And I looked at him--and I'm not joking about this--a huge gust of wind blew through the air, he stopped, and turned around and proceeded to walk a little ways behind me......and I was suddenly filled with this feeling--this familiar emotion. The same youthful, hopeful, excited emotion that, at one point, I wore on my sleeve day and night. I still believe that someone up there was sending me some kind of reminder. A reminder of myself. Of who I once was. Who I've been wishing I could become again. And of who, I realized, I still am. I'm a true believer in the fact that our souls never die, and they never change drastically during our lifetime. I think that we are who we are from birth. And that maybe we go on this life journey of experiences and meet certain people who affect us, not to figure out who we are. Because I think we already are everything we're ever going to be from the very beginning. I think we are mace to go through all those things to first, show us who we are--maybe that's what it actually means when people say they want to discover, Or find, themeslves--so that we know and understand ourselves--and second, for whoever created us and our souls to explain to us why we were made to be the person that we are. I think that's why we're all given a role in society and in our families and our lives. And I think that's why people are constantly trying to define who they are by what career they choose. I think we're all just looking for a reason as to why we are who we are and why we, being the person we are, are here on earth. As if to find out why we were given the souls, Or selves, that we were. I lost myself a lot here. Especially lately. But every now and then, I'm shown something that reminds me of my original self--the self that I will always be. And even though I may have lost some of my faith in certain things--and lost a little bit of myself on occasion--over time, the one thing I will always have faith in is that there will always be reminders of who I am everywhere I look. Because, even if they don't appear in person every once in a while on the street with their dog, they will still always walk behind me wherever I go. Those you've known, And lost, still walk behind you. All alone, They linger till they find you. Without them, The world grows dark around you. And nothing is the same until you know that they have found you. Those you've pained. Maybe carry that still with them. All the same, They whisper:"All forgiven". Still your heart says, The shadows bring the startlight. And everything you've ever been is still there in the dark night. When the northem wind blows The sorrows your heart holds, There are those who still know--They're still home. We're still home. Though you know. You've left them far behind. You walk on by yourself and not with them. Still you know They will fill your heart and mind When they say there's a way through this. Those you're known, And lost, still walk behind you. All alone Their song still seems to find you. They call you, As if you knew their longing--They whistle through the lonely wind, the long blue shadows falling. All alone But still I hear their yearning Through the dark, the moon, alone there, burning. The stars too They tell of spring returning--And summer with another wind that no one yet has known. They call me--Through all things--Night's falling But somehow I go on. You watch me, Just watch me. I'm calling From longing When the northern wind blows The sorrows your heart's known--I believe..... Still you've known, There's so much more to find--Another dream, another love you'll hold. Still you know To trust you own true mind. On your way--you are not alone There are those who still know. Now they'll walk on my arm through the distant night And I won't let them stray from my heart. Through the wind, through the dark, through the winter light. I will read all their dreams to the stars. I'll walk with them now, I'll call on their names I'll see their thoughts are known Not gone-- Not gone-- They walk with my heart-- I'll never let them go. I'll never let them go. I'll never let them go. You watch me. Just watch me. I'm calling I'm calling--And one day all will know.
And that's when I realized that sadness and pain really is inevitable--it will be present at every moment of your life. It just depends on how much importance you decide to give it. On how much you decide to let it overtake your life and rule the person who you are. Maybe I have changed since middle school, even though it's only been two years. Maybe I was right in thinking that I've become a bit more cynical and jaded. Maybe I was right in thinking that I've lost a little bit of faith. But, no matter what I think, underneath my past experiences and the people I once knew and loved.....and lost......underneath all those things that follow me wherever I go--all that pain I carry with me--I will still ALWAYS be me. Sometimes, I guess, it's just eacy to lose yourself in the the clutter and the accumulation of sadness and experience and wisdom. What made me really realize that was when I looked up from finding "Those You've Known" from Sring Awakening on my iPod just in time to see Tim fly past me with his dog. I was shocked and in wonder that the two of us, who haven't seen each other since my Sophomore year of middle school, just happened to walk past each other at the same exact moment in time, on the same exact street, on the same exact of the sidewalk. What are the chances of that? And I looked at him--and I'm not joking about this--a huge gust of wind blew through the air, he stopped, and turned around and proceeded to walk a little ways behind me......and I was suddenly filled with this feeling--this familiar emotion. The same youthful, hopeful, excited emotion that, at one point, I wore on my sleeve day and night. I still believe that someone up there was sending me some kind of reminder. A reminder of myself. Of who I once was. Who I've been wishing I could become again. And of who, I realized, I still am. I'm a true believer in the fact that our souls never die, and they never change drastically during our lifetime. I think that we are who we are from birth. And that maybe we go on this life journey of experiences and meet certain people who affect us, not to figure out who we are. Because I think we already are everything we're ever going to be from the very beginning. I think we are mace to go through all those things to first, show us who we are--maybe that's what it actually means when people say they want to discover, Or find, themeslves--so that we know and understand ourselves--and second, for whoever created us and our souls to explain to us why we were made to be the person that we are. I think that's why we're all given a role in society and in our families and our lives. And I think that's why people are constantly trying to define who they are by what career they choose. I think we're all just looking for a reason as to why we are who we are and why we, being the person we are, are here on earth. As if to find out why we were given the souls, Or selves, that we were. I lost myself a lot here. Especially lately. But every now and then, I'm shown something that reminds me of my original self--the self that I will always be. And even though I may have lost some of my faith in certain things--and lost a little bit of myself on occasion--over time, the one thing I will always have faith in is that there will always be reminders of who I am everywhere I look. Because, even if they don't appear in person every once in a while on the street with their dog, they will still always walk behind me wherever I go. Those you've known, And lost, still walk behind you. All alone, They linger till they find you. Without them, The world grows dark around you. And nothing is the same until you know that they have found you. Those you've pained. Maybe carry that still with them. All the same, They whisper:"All forgiven". Still your heart says, The shadows bring the startlight. And everything you've ever been is still there in the dark night. When the northem wind blows The sorrows your heart holds, There are those who still know--They're still home. We're still home. Though you know. You've left them far behind. You walk on by yourself and not with them. Still you know They will fill your heart and mind When they say there's a way through this. Those you're known, And lost, still walk behind you. All alone Their song still seems to find you. They call you, As if you knew their longing--They whistle through the lonely wind, the long blue shadows falling. All alone But still I hear their yearning Through the dark, the moon, alone there, burning. The stars too They tell of spring returning--And summer with another wind that no one yet has known. They call me--Through all things--Night's falling But somehow I go on. You watch me, Just watch me. I'm calling From longing When the northern wind blows The sorrows your heart's known--I believe..... Still you've known, There's so much more to find--Another dream, another love you'll hold. Still you know To trust you own true mind. On your way--you are not alone There are those who still know. Now they'll walk on my arm through the distant night And I won't let them stray from my heart. Through the wind, through the dark, through the winter light. I will read all their dreams to the stars. I'll walk with them now, I'll call on their names I'll see their thoughts are known Not gone-- Not gone-- They walk with my heart-- I'll never let them go. I'll never let them go. I'll never let them go. You watch me. Just watch me. I'm calling I'm calling--And one day all will know.
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