You never think the last time is the last time....{5}

If you want big rewards. you got to take big risks. Look at me. My life has no meaning or direction, and I'm happy. She couldn't even make a sound. But tears started falling from her eyes. I've learned that fate only takes you so far. After that, it's up to you to make it happen. Even the smallest person can change the course of the future. So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned. My conclusion, right? Well, my conclusion is: hate is baggage, Life too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it. Ken says it's always good to end a paper wit ha quote. Says someone else has already said it best so if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong. So I picked a guy I thought you'd like. "We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic cords of memory will swell when again touched, as they surely will be, by the better angels of our nature". My father once said"nobility isn't a birth right, it's defined by one's actions". Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of your life. There are to many ordinary things in life, love shouldn't be one of them. To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human. Without the bitter, baby, the sweet ain't as sweet! It's like you come onto this planet with a crayon box. Now, you may get the 8-pak, or you may get the 16-pak, but it's all in what you do with the crayons--the colors--that you're given. Now don't worry about coloring inside the lines or outside the lines. I say, color outside the lines! Color right off the page! Don't box me in. The best thing about her is when you look in her eyes, and she's looking back in yours, everything seems not quite normal, because you feel stranger and weaker at the same time. You feel excited and at the same time terrified. The truth is you don't know what you feel, except you know what kind man you want to be. It's as if you've reached the unreachable and you're not ready for it. This is the only way you can hope to survive because life is not a movie. Everyone lies, good guys lose, and love does not conquer all. I do not chase my dreams, they come to me. I do not gamble with fate, I hold it. I can resist almost anything but temptation. Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you will be. The innocent only exist until they inevitably become perpatrators. Guilt and innocence is a matter of timing. There was this entire life behind things. and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know that there was no reason to be afraid.....ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know, but it helps me remember, I need to remember......sometimes there's so much to cave in. You are what you love, not what loves you. If the problem can't be solved, worrying is unnessecary. So if I asked you about art you could give me the skinny on every art book ever written....'Michelangelo'? You know a lot about him. I bet. Life's work, criticisms, political aspirations. But you couldn't tell me what it smells like in the 'Sistine Chapel'. You've never stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. And if I asked you about women I'm sure you could give me a syllabus of your personal favorites, and maybe you've been laid a few times too. But you couldn't tell me how it feels to wake up next to a woman and be truly happy. If I asked you about war you could refer me to a bevy of fictional and non--fictional material, but you've never been in one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap. And if I asked about love I'd get a sonnet, but you've never looked at a woman and been truly vulnerable. Known that someone could kill you with a look. That someone could rescue you from grief. That God had put on angel on Earth just for you. And you wouldn't know how it felt to be her angel. To have the love be there for her forever. . ...................TO BE CONTINUED