How does one become important? {1}

1} How does one become important? How does one start to make things right? What could I possibly try which someone else couldn't? I think it hurts, because I care so much. And yet I can do nothing. I feel helpless in the grand scheme of things. 2} Yesterday was a bad day. but it was better than today. but it took today being worse to realize that yesterday wasn't that had. 3} There's so much about me that you don't know & so much that you'll never understand. 4} She just needs a little help, to wash away all the pain she's felt she just needs to feel the healing hands of someone who really understands. 5} I guess everyone has their reasons for keeping people away. an instinct to protect yourself from getting hurt. It's part of human nature sometimes. 6} Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. 7} I don't know what to do anymore. nothing feels the same. I never see a smile in the mirror. I only see pain. pain beneath my soul, so deep inside of me there is no escaping it, no coming back to a normal state of mind, there's nothing I can do anymore. 8} Sometimes you just put one foot in front of the other, even if you don't know where you're going. 9} Sometimes despite our best wishes and intentions, fate wins. 10} Sometimes you realize. the secrets you try to hard to hide from everyone are the ones that are tearing you up inside. Sometimes you realize. It's not that you don't want to tell them. You just have no idea how. 11} Do you know what it's like to be alone every moment of your life? To force every laugh, and look around nervously to make sure they bought it. To hurt all the time, and know, it will never get better. Do you know what it's like to feel like your heart weighs a million pounds? No, so don't you dare judge me. Not for one second. 12} No one can see the pain that we hide. they're happy for us to keep it inside, our fear is our own; they don't want to know. Why should we involve them; Why should it show. 13} She's just a little upset. but she won't vent to anyone. her problems aren't important, and no ones listening anyways. She's crying inside, but hey, She's beautiful right? 14} and my hope like autumn is turning brown and I know it seems like, I'm always falling down. 15} I'm completely unconnected, constantly rejected like everything I've ever loved is coming down. I'm drawing in emotion in the middle of the ocean, never knowing when it's over and I'm going down. That's how I feel. .....TO BE CONTINUED