"Emotional Poser"

Sup.I'm tired of being a poser,I'm tired of pretending that I'm happy.I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay,I've been lying to myself.and the outside world for years,and I'm sick of it.I'm a walking love-flaw.I've be rejected,lied to,left,talked about,and destroyed.The destruction hurt the most.It seems that whenever I'm on the edge of happiness,or the edge of love.I overestimate the circumstances,and fall off the cliff,to my emotional demise. My hands slide slowly over the grooves of love.only to realize that my fingers don't fit;they don't fit anywhere.I'm always on the verge of getting what I want;what I need,but I never truly get to taste the agonizingly sweet essence of completion.I'm running on empty.I'm so exhaustedthe expansion and compression of my lungs is a necessary-yet-unbearable part of the Hell that has become my life.I know that the possibility of me ever being together with my crush.my love,my everything,is a distant dream on a far-off horizon,but,couldn't I enjoy my dreams,just for once?Couldn't I just lay down,and sink into the dimension of hope that is my dreams.allowing foolish hope to flood over me?No,I could not,simply because I am an unnecessary part of their life,and everyone else's lives.I am deeply,truly,sadly,powerfully,endearingly in love with someone,and that is why I will never win.That is why I will ever get what I want,or what I need.I am alone on this cold earth,doomed to be alone padderby in the fastlane of passion.This is the fate of an "Emotional Poser."