Friend--do you attract "unavailable" men?~(Part 2)

Here's what I want to know first........ Why is it so clear and easy for other women to fall in 'love' with a man, and for a relationship to effortlessly come together and grow.... While You keep attracting all the men out there who are "unavailable" who SEEM great at first, but eventually get scared and just can't go "deeper", with you? Is this "unavailable" thing really a problem so many men are carrying around that gets in the way of LOVE? Or Could it also be that You play a part in finding men who are "unavailable"? And that you bring about that unavailable RESPONSE inside a man which is already lying there dormant inside even the most "evolved" men? I want to share with you what could be a new and enlightening perspective on all this........ There's an important realization all SMART and Loving women I know end up coming to at some point in their 'love' lives. It's a "light bulb" that suddenly just turns on...... and when it does you instantly grow and see things with a new sense of CLARITY. Unfortunately, most women only come to this important realization AFTER they've been through the pain and frustration of doing everything they can think of to "revive" their relationship and falling. I'll tell you what this REALIZATION is........ It's that when you're with a man who is feeling Or acting UNCERTAIN with you.... even if you could give him an "ultimatum" that would move things ahead to the place in your relationship that YOU WANT....... A man moving ahead with you just because you ask it of him is a very "weak" and dangerous place to enter into a loving relationship from. Especially for you as a woman who likely wants a man who is truly COMMITTED to being with you on a physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual level. Knowing this, let me ask you..... Do men truly COMMIT and choose to 'love' and become loyal, caring, affectionate, etc. Just because a woman ASKS THEM? Or does a man need to have HIS OWN REASONS for being and feeling this way? It's a VERY IMPORTANT question.......... If you've had one more relationships where you were ready for "more"........ but the man you were with was seeming to drag his heels, Or just not care about your relationship..... and you tried to make it work but it only seemed to BACKFIRE-- then this question could be one of the most important questions you ever ask yourself. Seriously. So as a bit of homework, I want you to stop for a second and THINK ABOUT IT......... * Do men truly COMMIT and choose to 'love' and become truly loyal, caring, and affectionate just because a woman ASK IT OF THEM? Or Does a man need to have HIS OWN REASONS for truly feeling and being this way with you, if it's going to LAST? For a deep look inside how man really think about and approach a truly loving and committed relationship with a woman, and how to help a man recognize and do the things that will make your relationship LAST....... You need to read this detailed letter I've posted online right away. WHERE To START IN LEARNING ABOUT WHAT MAKES HIM WANT To COMMIT WITH You........ Let me be unusually direct with you, for your own good-- Have you finally figured out that if you don't know HOW TO GET A MAN To OPEN UP and talk and share his deeper thoughts and feelings with you....... that's is going to be impossible to make your relationship work? Lots of women think they get how this works because they talk a lot about what's on THEIR MIND. For most women, this is common Communication Mistake #1 in their relationship. Sharing YOUR FEELINGS first, and often, because you believe this will somehow get him to share his feelings in return. This is not a great way to get a man to "open up" to you and get in touch with his feelings. This is not his "emotional process". Especially with a man you're in a relationship with who is already acting "withdrawn" and has shut off his feelings from you. This kind of MORE IS BETTER approach about talking and sharing YOUR FEELINGS actually WORKS AGAINST YOU more than it helps you with men who are acting uncertain and withdrawn. Here's the deal....... If you know anything about a man, then you should know that to get to know , know HIS FEELINGS, then more talk about YOUR FEELINGS is NOT the answer. Which leads me to common Communication Mistake #2 Out of all the things that can go wrong in a relationship, I've found one that causes women more pain, frustration, and leads to BAD OUTCOMES with the man in their life than anything else........ I've watched it happen over and over with all the women I know--my friends, my sister, co-workers. I also get TONS of e-mail from women who read my newsletters who write to tell me this all-too-familiar story. It's the SAME ISSUE that keeps popping up at the beginning of their romantic relationship. .......................to be continued