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Friendship~its kind of amazing what little bit of action YOU.3
Fast-forward to now, nearly 14 years later. Now, 'till this day, it's apparent that their friendship is still strong, even via long-distance. The ex-friend who became a good friend again just got married recently, a fact which I found out through my own best friend's "Facebook". There she was, at her friend's wedding, in several of the pictures. Their friendship rekindled enough where they still got to share life's blessings together and I was just.....gone. I'm not totally innocent, of course; I have just as much power to remain friends with people. But at the time, I was more a lone recluse, embracing what little friendships I had because they were so willing to embrace me first. I took it personally when people left me behind, including these two. I wasn't always a fighter, if at all, and I guess I just always put my friendship out there when people needed it. But I wasn't (and still am not) much of a shover. To this day I'd rather go where I feel welcomed. And after they had gotten so obsessed with being friends again, it's like my point in the whole thing was over, and I had no other purpose. When I thought they'd bring me along for the ride of their long lost friendship, I was really just being left in the back seat. Well anyway, that's the point of this ramble. In a way, I feel like I rescuscitated a then dead friendship to the point of THIS, them still quite dose, and I'm still here.....all alone. What if I had not bothered to be their middle man? What if I didn't even mention at all of my still-existent friendship with the one? Would my best friend have even bothered to give her past friendship another shot if it wasn't for me helping breask the ice? I could never know these answers. But it doesn't change the fact that what happened still happened, and I played a pretty crucial role in the rekindling of their friendship. I just wish I wasn't so absent, wasn't so cut-off. I wish they would have embraced me all the more closer for having so much hope for the two of them to be friends again. But that didn't happen. Their friendship with each other seemed to have always been stronger than their friendship was with me, and that fact did hurt me enough to cower away from even fighting for it. I just wish I could have been different, Then maybe, I too could have been in that picture with the girls who were quite the good friends in highschool, through which may have very well been the efforts I made in making sure it happened. But perhaps my purpose in that moment was merely to rekindle a friendship between two people who may have forever lost touch. Perhaps my little bit of action in that moment was exactly what was needed for the future, this present, to be as it is today. Perhaps them being friends with each other was more important than them being friends with me. Perhaps more is meant to happen in their lives that never would have happened otherwise. In that sense, I've served my purpose, and I must live with it. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt , though.
Fast-forward to now, nearly 14 years later. Now, 'till this day, it's apparent that their friendship is still strong, even via long-distance. The ex-friend who became a good friend again just got married recently, a fact which I found out through my own best friend's "Facebook". There she was, at her friend's wedding, in several of the pictures. Their friendship rekindled enough where they still got to share life's blessings together and I was just.....gone. I'm not totally innocent, of course; I have just as much power to remain friends with people. But at the time, I was more a lone recluse, embracing what little friendships I had because they were so willing to embrace me first. I took it personally when people left me behind, including these two. I wasn't always a fighter, if at all, and I guess I just always put my friendship out there when people needed it. But I wasn't (and still am not) much of a shover. To this day I'd rather go where I feel welcomed. And after they had gotten so obsessed with being friends again, it's like my point in the whole thing was over, and I had no other purpose. When I thought they'd bring me along for the ride of their long lost friendship, I was really just being left in the back seat. Well anyway, that's the point of this ramble. In a way, I feel like I rescuscitated a then dead friendship to the point of THIS, them still quite dose, and I'm still here.....all alone. What if I had not bothered to be their middle man? What if I didn't even mention at all of my still-existent friendship with the one? Would my best friend have even bothered to give her past friendship another shot if it wasn't for me helping breask the ice? I could never know these answers. But it doesn't change the fact that what happened still happened, and I played a pretty crucial role in the rekindling of their friendship. I just wish I wasn't so absent, wasn't so cut-off. I wish they would have embraced me all the more closer for having so much hope for the two of them to be friends again. But that didn't happen. Their friendship with each other seemed to have always been stronger than their friendship was with me, and that fact did hurt me enough to cower away from even fighting for it. I just wish I could have been different, Then maybe, I too could have been in that picture with the girls who were quite the good friends in highschool, through which may have very well been the efforts I made in making sure it happened. But perhaps my purpose in that moment was merely to rekindle a friendship between two people who may have forever lost touch. Perhaps my little bit of action in that moment was exactly what was needed for the future, this present, to be as it is today. Perhaps them being friends with each other was more important than them being friends with me. Perhaps more is meant to happen in their lives that never would have happened otherwise. In that sense, I've served my purpose, and I must live with it. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt , though.
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